So, I decided to write something based on impressionism. My two inspirations are: Hiroshige's Sudden Rain and the final scene of the final episode of season one of Treme. Which also reminds me of what is funny of modern writing, watching, thinking, talking, debating... it may... or may not... have lost track of the fact that for a thing to be great it needn't be literally new, it needn't have never existed... in fact, it's been a while since something has existed before something else. Well, okay... eternity. It just needs to be as new as anyone has experienced. And this is, I promise.

Yeah, so let's be honest. Maybe people with older parents are more balanced, more perfect in some remote way... but let's be even more honest. Louis Armstrong had some young ass parents, and he was more amazing than any old-aged-parent friend of yours, including myself.

I should write. That much is obvious. For no one to read. If only to have a singular place to refer to for tracking my goals and plans, hopes, notes and observations, revelations, etcetera. Much more important than writing is referring back to the blog to revisit what I've written. I can't tell you how many times and things I've written, but they are all useless because they were never woven into a continual narrative.

My motivation is that I'm beginning school soon and I've found that working at a shitty job and avoiding real writing for a couple years now has left me unable to do basic things, even more basic things than writing, which is pretty basic. Everyday, to some extent, and the past few days more than usual, I spend a lot of time thinking about what I should do and very little time doing it.

I'm going to create a blog. I'm going to apply for jobs. I'm going to write for an hour, write whatever I can, just to write. I'm going to read. I'm going to search for volunteering things to do, or organizations and/or people to network with. I'm going to become a regular at a coffee shop, and that is where all of these things will be easily doable, where I will find the voice inside myself that says "Ignore the difficulties, do what must be done, and when you do that, it will be fun. Every step of it--there will be nothing that you 'have to slog through'."

There will always be more that I could be doing. But it is really stupid to let that stop me from doing anything in the first place. No matter how many times you have recognized that all of this fuss over doing things is eliminated by actually doing them, still you fail to do them. It is as if I truly believe in the end that my end goal will reach me, and it's not me who must work to reach it. It's not hard to see why--in my very soul, in the depths of me, I am very lazy, I have had much done for me and not by me. What is the best way to combat this? Your best first step is to get away from this writing, and not try to answer this question now. Take a day, think about the question and the reasons why you're asking it, and come back tomorrow with an answer.